


Sad Beautiful Tragic

by caseycsd



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F, Songfic, angstyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 22:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caseycsd/pseuds/caseycsd
Summary: a songfic for taylor swift's sad beautiful tragic





	Sad Beautiful Tragic

**Author's Note:**

> this song is literally written for kana around jan/feb. anyway i hope you like it and comments and kudos are appreciated

_Long, handwritten note, deep in your pocket_

  
It was the note that had led Zeedan to the bistro. She remembers him storming into the bistro, seething with rage, his sights set on Robert. She could hear the words, her words, being read out from one of the many notes she had given Rana and her heart sunk. Zeedan knew. He knew that Rana was no longer in love with him. The thought that Rana had kept the note crossed her mind but she pushed it away. Now wasn't the time.

_Words, how little they mean, when you're a little too late_

_"You shouldn't have told him."_

She could still hear Rana's broken voice, she could still see her crying in despair. She couldn't take it. She just wanted to gather the smaller woman into her arms and never let her go. But it was too late. Everything was so messy, they were bad for each other's lives. It was just too late for them to get their happy ending, if that was even a possibility in the first place.

_I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket_

_Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait_

 

She remembers standing by the train tracks earlier in the month, the tragedy of the day fresh on her mind. Her best friend had been murdered, yet all she could think about was Rana. She was so mad at her and she wasn't even completely sure why. She had been so hopeful the day before. Her future with Rana was finally beginning, she had waited so long. But no. Deep down she knew that Rana wouldn't tell him. She hadn't all the other times so why would this time be different?

But now here she was. At the train station waiting for her escape away from dead best friends and unrequited love.

_We had a beautiful magic love there_

_What a sad beautiful tragic love affair_

 

Their love was beautiful. It was the kind of love you see in movies, read about in books. The kind of love where you just want to be with the person twenty-four hours a day and never let them go. It was the kind of love so many miss out on.  
And it was still beautiful even after it fell apart. The two lovers torn apart by life but longing for their soulmate. It was tragic and heartbreaking but it was beautiful nevertheless. They longed for each other every hour of every day. One stuck in a disgusting contract drawn up by her parents and her husband. And the other, pretending to want another. Pretending that her heart belonged to someone else when it truly belonged to the girl stuck in a contract, not knowing which way to turn.

 

_In dreams, I meet you in warm conversation_

_We both wake in lonely beds, different cities._

 

She dreams about Rana every single night. It's always the same. It's just them. In love. Happy. Their conversations always flow so easily. Everything is so perfect. Until she wakes up and realizes that Rana's not beside her. And when she realizes that the girl she so desperately loves isn't beside her a little part of her heart cracks even more. She's surrounded by people, her family, Sophie, but why does she feel so lonely? Why is it that the only person she wants went back to her husband?

 

_And time is taking its sweet time erasing you_

_And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me_

 

Sometimes she wishes she could just forget what they had. She wishes she could just erase it from her memory. Get rid of all the memories of stolen kisses, touches hidden from the view of others, quick glances across the street, glances that if noticed would give it all away. But then she thinks that if all those memories just disappeared she wouldn't remember a time she was at her happiest. She wouldn't remember all the details of Rana's body, how it feels to kiss her, the feeling of pure joy when she made her smile so big that her eyes closed. And she thinks, she doesn't want that. As horrible the pain was she wouldn't change the time they had together. The happiness they made each other feel.

 

She has seen Rana in passing. She's noticed the dark circles underneath her beautiful eyes, she's seen how Zeedan looks at her, how she withers underneath his gaze. And her heart completely breaks in those moments, knowing deep down that she could make Rana so happy. Knowing that she could put that beautiful smile back on her face.

 

_Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting_

_Silence, the train runs off its tracks_

 

The timing was so wrong. So bad. If they had met just a few years earlier it would have been so different. If she hadn't have been married to Zee, if Kate wasn't roommates with Zeedan's sister. If everything was just a little bit different maybe they both wouldn't be broken right now. It was one big disaster that made two women so happy but had so many casualties.

 

Like a train crash, they were both two stupid kids messing about and it led to a huge disaster bringing harm to others. They were so happy messing around until real life kicked in and made them realize that you can't mess around without thinking of the consequences. But the difference between them and the kids is that all Kate and Rana ever worried about was the pain their happiness would bring others.

 

_Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?_

_Hang up, give up, and for the life of us we can't get back_

 

She remembers answering one of Rana's many calls when she was in Devon. Rana begged her to come back home. Making promises to tell Zeedan. An 'I love you' was thrown in there too. But Kate couldn't take it anymore. She just couldn't deal with the guilt and the pain of knowing that the love of her life will never truly be hers. She hung up after Rana had said that she loved her. The silence had built up and Kate desperately wanted to say it back but she knew it wouldn't help either of them. She knew it would just cause more problems.

 

She had naively dreamt of her and Rana's future a few times. Holidays, introducing her to her family and the more serious dreams led her to marriage, kids. And it was amazing in the moment. She'd wake up and smile all day thinking about what was to come once Zeedan knew.

 

Now all she did was tear up when thinking of those dreams. Now she knows that she'll never get those things with the girl across the road. They'd never get their happy ending. They never even truly got their happy beginning.

 

 

 


End file.
